Any man who claims to have never sucked a cock is either lying, or he has actually never sucked a cock. Any man who claims to have sucked only one cock, however, is certainly lying.

You can’t eat just one.

And finally, any man who claims that he will never suck a cock is probably telling the truth, but wishes he was lying.

With the internet making it so damn easy to come upon hi-res jpegs of hard-cock closeups, more and more men are bicoming mesmerized, hypnotized, pleasurized by the tractor beams emanating from beautiful dicks. They are drawn in — and they are happy to give in because they want to give fellatic head so bad they can almost taste it. They need to taste it.

But to travel from almost cocksucking to almighty cocksucking often requires a cock compass to follow the destiny to dick. And when you need a tour guide for this adventure, a cheerleading cunt can be the perfect choice.

But to find one. Or two, or twenty….

Here’ the trick: Answer the personal ads. Guess which ones?

No, not M seeks M, or M seeks F, of F seeks M, but yes, F seeks F. But be polite because you are not trying to turn lesbians straight or worm into their scene as a voyeur. You leave a message in their box (their voice mail box) and tell them you are a M seeking a M with the help of a F.

Tell them it doesn’t have to be them but that they might know of another F or F’s who could MC a MM encounter (or MMM or MMMMM, ad infinitum). I mean if two women independently asked the same guy to find a bi or lez woman for a fling, wouldn’t any guy if he were that guy make the introduction quicker than the speed his cock got hard when he came across his first girl-girl “spread” in Penthouse?

You bet.

So find the woman or women. She or they will line up a few cocks (be warned, eventually you will want a few hundred). Tell her exactly what you are looking for, maybe even download and print some of those internet closeups to show them precisely the penis types you find perfecto. 

See, first we thought just snow flakes were beautifully unique, then we discovered breasts to be the same, now we know that cocks can be so very cute in oh so many ways.

Most women will have seen cocks just like those you seek. Then the movement you felt when seeing just the fantastic pictures of bare-shaved raging-hard ebony-colored 10-inch boners will become an earthquake when you get to see the real deal. You’ll be mesmerized and hypnotized by the phallus of your dreams.

You’ll be a Division One dick licker, with cheerleader(s). She or they will love introducing you to your first mouth fuck, your first gush of tasty hot cum, your first blow job given rather than received, and it is pretty much better (or at least just as good) to give than to receive. And although it won’t be your last, imagine it to be so and you will treasure the moment even more.

Pretty soon your cheerleader or cheerleaders will still be cheering, but in your cock-loving trance you will no longer hear them. You will have reached the zone.

And that zone is not twilight but dawn. It is sunrise as you start going down, and it will soon be high noon forever.

You’ll always remember and relish your first bi experience because it got you where you needed to be. You always knew it, but only recently knew that you knew it.

And while kissing tips, don’t forget to tip the cheerleaders. You need to thank them profusely so they will be equally encouraging for the next guy who happens bi.