We all tend to blame others for our misfortunes. In my case, I blame
Sandra Foxley. Sandra and I had a great affair for three months, but
she called me on a Thursday night and said we were finished. This
left me with nothing to do Friday night so I went bar hopping and
that’s how the trouble started.

I was at the Shanghai Bar; the third stop and the fourth beer of the
evening. Oakland was playing the Yankees on TV when the alien
approached me. He didn’t look very odd at first, although I noticed
later that his eyes were more purple than blue and had no lashes. He
mostly kept his hands in his pockets; otherwise, I would have noticed
right away that his palms had thumbs on both sides.

“You look like a guy with time on your hands,” he said. “How about a

I replied, “Sure, why not? My girl dumped me yesterday, claiming I
don’t satisfy her any more. Pretty damn depressing, don’t you think?”

“Well, I can help you pass the time and offer you a new experience, if
you’re interested,” said the alien. “Would you be willing to take a
harmless medical exam for research? It won’t take long, and we pay

Oakland was losing anyway. “Sure, why not? When do I have to be
there?” I asked.

“I’ll provide the transportation. Let’s go now,” replied the alien.
He tossed a five on the bar and guided me into the men’s room. By
habit I headed toward the urinals but the alien steered me toward a
stall. “Hold that just a minute; we’ll be needing a specimen,” he
explained. He closed the stall door and raised his wrist to his lips;
that’s when I noticed his extra thumb. I tried to ask him about it
but he paid no attention. Instead, he spoke into his watch using a
funny language and then the room blanked out.

Check Out

Another room quickly blanked in. There were monitoring instruments
along the walls and a padded table in the center. “What is your name,
please?” asked the alien.

I answered, “Dave Perkins. Uh, this isn’t a surgical room, is it?”

“No, no, this is just an examination. Nothing will touch your body.
Please undress and lie on the table.”

“I still have to piss,” I complained. The alien gave me a specimen

I’d rather have undressed for Sandra, but what the hell, the guy was
paying triple. I took off my clothes and climbed onto the examining
table. Fortunately, the room was warm and the table seemed to be
heated. I laid there and daydreamed for about half an hour while the
alien spun dials on one machine after another. The five beers were
starting to set in pretty good.

“OK, Dave, the examination is over. You get three wishes. What’ll it
be?” asked the alien.

“Three wishes! Are you some kind of genie?” I asked.

“No Dave, but I have access to a lot of technology you can’t imagine.
With a transporter beam and computer filters, we can create or modify
almost anything. If you ask for something I can’t do, I’ll offer the
next best thing. Now, what’ll it be?”

I was still angry about Sandra saying I couldn’t satisfy her. This
seemed like a golden opportunity to end that problem forever. It’s
amazing what can make sense after five beers.

“One: I want to have the biggest cock in the world. Two: I want full
control, lots of staying power, multiple orgasms. Three: I want women
everywhere, and especially Sandra, to give me blow jobs whenever I

“Just one minute while I try to program that, Dave,” said the alien.
“Hmm, I presume you want the biggest human cock? Not an elephant
cock, for example? No, I thought not. Full control: no problem.
Third wish: I can’t modify the desires of women everywhere, but I can
make it enjoyable for them to give you blow jobs. Will that be

“Sure,” I replied. After all, I was nearly passed out. The alien did
some typing on a computer console and then rapped his fingers until
the console beeped.

“All set, Dave. The transporter will modify your body in accordance
with your wishes . You shouldn’t drink and drive, so I’m going to
transport you straight to bed. Thank you for your assistance. Good
night.” The examining room blanked out, my bedroom blanked in, and I
fell asleep.


Saturday morning I woke without a hangover. I didn’t remember
everything about my escapade, but the business with the alien seemed
like a bad dream. Aliens, extra thumbs, transporters, three wishes.
I resolved to go on the wagon one of these years.

The surprise came when I rolled over to get up. Something heavy was
pulling at my groin; it felt like somebody was holding my cock. I
threw off the covers, looked, and froze. Between my legs was the
biggest cock I’d ever seen!

The monster was a foot and a half long, and thicker than my arm. The
head looked like the top of an oak stairway post. There was a huge
mass of pubic hair covering most of my lower stomach. My balls were
the size of grapefruits. I started to get up and found myself
dragging the monster cock across the sheets. As I sat on the edge of
the bed, the cock stretched across my thigh, curved onto the bed, and
ended with the head resting on the sheet. I tried to pick up the head
and place it between my knees, but the middle drooped. It took two
hands to get my cock off the sheets! It seemed to weigh ten or
fifteen pounds.

Habit told me it was time to piss, although I didn’t feel an urge. I
gingerly stood up and almost lost my balance. My huge balls stuck out
three or four inches beyond my thighs, and the cock curved outward
before dropping to my knees. It seemed to be attached higher on my
belly than before; I suppose it had to be that way, so my huge balls
weren’t squished between my thighs. I walked slowly to the bathroom,
unused to the feel and balance of the added weight. The cock hung
about six inches in front of my knees, so I didn’t have much trouble
from kicking it.

I received another surprise at the toilet. When I attempted to push
out a normal stream, the result was more like a full-pressure garden
hose. It only lasted a second, but the piss hit the toilet so hard
that water splashed over half the bathroom. I reached with both hands
to shake off the cock and received yet another shock; it rose to meet
my hands!

Frantically, I tried to remember my three wishes. Biggest cock on
Earth: check. Full control: what does that mean, I wondered? I
relaxed the cock and it hung limply in front of my knees again. I
thought about making it rise and it did. Moving it left and right
worked also. Soon I discovered the ability to make the cock bend and
curve various ways; I found myself putting on a private snake charmer
show right there in my own bathroom!

I began to wonder about erections and thereby caused one. The cock
got darker in color and grew over two feet long and six inches thick.
It felt about the same as an ordinary erection, but of course there
was more of it. I found I could move the erect cock up and down, left
and right as before, but flexing and bending were restrained. I
thought about making the cock soft again so I could flex it, and sure
enough, it went soft. I made it fully erect and flaccid several times
within a minute. Now, that’s control, I thought. Finally, I made the
cock erect and thought about cumming. The cock spurted cum instantly
and violently; I experienced orgasm and heard the blob smack the wall.
I cleaned it up with a wash cloth and couldn’t believe how much cum
there was. The cock was still erect so I curved it toward the shower
and thought about cumming again. Another huge blob of cum shot seven
feet and hit the shower panel. I amused myself for several minutes
shooting cum blobs toward the shower wall until I’d spelled out “EAT

Something smelled delicious. With hands behind my back, I raised the
cock to my face and smelled the head. It didn’t smell like ordinary
cum at all; it smelled great! I stuck out my tongue and touched the
cock head to it; it was the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted.
Wish three: women everywhere would like giving me blow jobs.


I made the cock shake itself off and then headed for the kitchen.
After starting the coffee, I considered fetching the newspaper. None
of my pajama bottoms would fit over the cock and I was sure it would
hang below the hem of my robe. In the end, I wore the robe and made
the cock stay wrapped around my hip. Someone might have noticed a
hell of a bulge on one side but at least I was decent.

Sitting at the kitchen table, letting the cock hang between my legs
wasn’t comfortable. The front edge of the chair was cold and the cock
tended to rub where it angled over. Resting the cock across one thigh
was much better. I amused myself by shifting the cock from one thigh
to the other with no hands as I read the paper and drank my coffee. I
must have been very thirsty because I drank the whole pot and then
made another.

After breakfast I went to the bathroom to shave and shower. My pubic
hair was in a huge tangle and it itched. There was so much of it that
washing the balls and cock would obviously be difficult. That much
hair didn’t even look right, and I decided to trim it back. Using a
barber scissors, I stood over the wastebasket and went to work.
Clumps six to eight inches long were falling away and I still had
quite a bit of hair left. As I worked, the true size of my new
equipment became more obvious. Curiosity killed the cat, and I ended
up trimming myself very close.

The balls were definitely attached higher than before and they didn’t
hang down as much. Both these changes seemed necessary to keep the
balls from being smashed as I walked, but it made them stick out in
front of me. The cock was as big around as a whiskey bottle and twice
as long. With the bottom of the shaft emerging just above the balls,
the top began a few inches below my navel. The base seemed attached
to a hip bone that wasn’t there before, and it wouldn’t bend straight
down. Instead, it curved out and then down. I tried flexing the cock
various ways but it wouldn’t hang straight down.

In the shower I erected the cock again and shot a few cum blobs at the
drain. I shampooed and scrubbed my body as normal. Washing the cock
was easy; I just raised it up and washed it like another arm. I had
trouble drying between my legs until I thought of using the cock to do
it. I was still thirsty, so I drank six or eight glasses of water
from the bathroom sink.

Getting dressed posed a problem. My old jockey shorts were out of the
question. Shorts in general were out of the question. I tried all my
baggiest pants but the cock wouldn’t fit into any of them. It was
obvious that I needed to buy new clothes, but how could I go out?

I walked into the living room and started searching through the old
junk mail for men’s clothing ads. One flyer showed a pair of
extremely baggy nylon parachute pants: the kind of thing rap singers
wear. I called the store and asked them to hold a pair of their
baggiest style in my size. They only had purple and yellow, so I told
them to hold both.

The hall closet offered the last chance for something to wear and it
didn’t fail me. Wearing a trench coat in July seemed a little strange
but I had no choice. The next problem was that without pants I looked
like a flasher. I managed to put on trousers by leaving the fly open
and putting the belt through the back loops only. I had to curl the
cock upward to keep it from protruding below the edge of the coat, but
that seemed a small price to pay. I put on a sport shirt and running
shoes, grabbed my wallet, and covered myself with the trench coat.
Only then did I remember that my car was still parked outside the bar
and my keys were in my pants pocket. My pants, of course, were still
in the alien’s examining room.

Fortunately, I keep a spare set of keys in the dresser. Grabbing
them, I called a taxi and waited twenty minutes for it to arrive. I
calmly walked out wearing my trench coat, holding the cock head to my
waist, and hoping the neighbors wouldn’t notice. The driver was an
attractive woman in her thirties. She obviously didn’t have a lot of
money to spend on clothes or hair styling but she did have nice tits
and a low cut T-shirt.

“Hi, I’m Angel. Are you sure you want that coat?” she asked.

I replied, “I haven’t been feeling just right today. I want to keep
warm until I see the doctor, but I need a ride to my car. Do you know
the Shanghai Bar?”

“Sure. Hop in,” said Angel, pointing her thumb to the back seat.

I relaxed in the rear for the ten minute ride. Angel looked at me in
her mirror and nearly lost control. In a flash I understood why. I’d
allowed the cock to unroll and my trench coat to spread open. “Is
that your cock?” asked Angel.

“Uh, yeah, I’m rather attached to it. Sorry, I didn’t mean to flash
you or anything,” I replied.

Angel pulled into an empty parking lot, stopped behind some bushes,
and got out of the cab. “Let me see that thing,” she insisted through
the window. I opened the taxi door and unbuttoned my trench coat.
The cock extended from my belly, ran across the back seat, then hung
over the edge. Just for fun, I raised it and waved it around a few

“Holy shit, it’s alive!” Angel exclaimed. “I could never take that
thing; not even the tip. Can I touch it?”

“Suit yourself,” I replied. As Angel reached toward the cock, I
erected it and moved it toward her hand. This pleased her to no end.
She touched the head and I tried to let a little cum seep out. In
fact, I shot a large cum blob onto the roof of the cab. It made a
“thwack” sound. Not expecting an orgasm, I gasped.

“You sure are sensitive, but at least you don’t go soft,” said Angel.
It was true: the cock was still fully erect and ready to cum again.
She took a rag from the front seat and wiped the sticky mess off the
ceiling, then sniffed. “Something smells delicious. Is there a
restaurant around here?”

“I don’t think so. Here, try this,” I replied. The cock head still
had a drop of cum on it, which I picked up and held to her lips.

Angel sniffed it. “That’s the smell, all right. It sure doesn’t
smell like regular cum.” With that, she put her lips around my finger
and rolled her tongue. Her eyes lit up instantly. “Mister, I don’t
know what you got there, but it tastes great and gets my pussy flowing
as well. You got a second helping?”

I looked around and decided no one could see us as long as I stayed in
the cab. I swung my legs out the door and pointed the huge engorged
cock directly at Angel’s face. “Go for it,” I urged.

There was no way Angel could get her mouth around the cock, but she
kissed all around the head and massaged the shaft. Strangely,
whatever she did had no effect on my level of arousal. It seemed I
could be fully aroused, fully relaxed, or anywhere between, but always
under my control. Angel seemed to be tiring and growing anxious, so I
decided it was time to cum. Although I tried to hold back, the gush
of fluid caught Alice by surprise. Some of it shot down her throat,
but most of it splashed back out of her mouth and onto my pants.
Angel moaned and rocked her hips in ecstasy, then started licking up
all the cum she could find. When she got her lips back around the
cock head I shot cum for her again. This time she managed not to gag.
The front of her shorts was wet with pussy juice and she motioned for
me to continue. I began pumping a continuous flow of cum into her
mouth. Her body became rigid and she began non-stop moaning and
twitching. There was no way she could swallow cum as fast as I was
pumping it, and the sticky fluid began dripping down her chin and onto
her tits. Finally, Angel pulled away and sat on the ground.

“Man, oh man. Nothing touched my pussy, nothing at all, but I got off
the minute I tasted your cum. I’m exhausted. Doesn’t that thing have
any limits?” Angel was referring to the cock, which was still erect
and ready for more. Just out of curiosity, I made the cock cum again;
the blob sailed fifteen feet and hit a reserved parking sign with a

Angel was a mess. She was covered with cum from her nose to her
thighs. She began cleaning herself with her fingers and licking them;
each mouthful caused her to moan and buck her hips again. I tried to
clean up my clothes with a hanky, but without complete success. Angel
was getting off so hard on my cum that I tasted it again myself; it
was delicious but not orgasmic. I hoped the outside of my coat would
dry before I got to the store.

Having finally worn herself out, Angel got back in the taxi. I closed
my door and we headed for the Shanghai Bar. Angel’s clothes were
still soaked and would undoubtedly dry stiff and stained. She said
“Mister, next time you need a ride, call me again. Thanks!” and
pulled away before I could pay her.


Once again I was incredibly thirsty. Although I was right outside the
Shanghai Bar, I decided it was too early for a beer. I got into my
car and used the drive-through at McDonald’s to buy an extra-large
Coke. That helped, but I was still thirsty and had to buy an extra-
large Pepsi from Burger King. Finally, I reached the clothing store
and went in.

“Can I help you sir? Take your coat, perhaps?” asked the sales clerk.
He was a young guy, about nineteen years old with a punk haircut. His
name was Stanley.

“No, my name is Dave Perkins. You’re holding two pair of parachute
pants for me,” I informed him. He checked the “hold” rack and handed
me two pair of parachute pants: one purple and one yellow. “I’ll need
to try these on,” I said. Stanley assigned me a fitting room.

I hung up my coat and slacks, then tried on the purple pants. The
style and color turned my stomach, but they were enormously baggy.
The plaid sport shirt I was wearing didn’t match either pair. My only
alternative at the moment was to keep wearing my trench coat.

“I’ll take both pair,” I told Stanley. “What kind of shirt would I
wear with these?” He talked me into an orange tank top for the purple
pants and a green, cropped-off sweatshirt to go with the yellow. He
also tried to sell me sunglasses and a leather hat, but I took a pass.

“I’d like to wear these right away,” I said. “Can you just cut the
tags off?”

“Uh, sure, just take them off in the dressing room and pass them over
the door.”

I handed him the yellow pants, tank top, and sweatshirt, then returned
to the dressing room. I hung the purple pants over the door, removed
my shirt, and waited for Stanley to hand the pants back. With nothing
else to do, I faced the mirror and did cock exercises: up, down,
right, left — first with the cock straight and then bending it at the

“Here are your pants, sir,” said Stanley. I had the pants back on
before I realized he hadn’t given me the orange tank top. I retrieved
my wallet and keys, bundled up my old clothes, and went out to find
Stanley. He was helping another customer already, and seemed
surprised to see me without a shirt.

“The cashier has the rest of your clothes, sir. I didn’t realize you
wanted to wear the new shirt, too. Please accept my apology,” he

The cashier was a tiny Oriental girl who eyed me closely when I
approached. Her name tag identified her as Annie. I asked her for my
clothes and she began looking all around the checkout counter. When
she stooped to look under the counter, her tiny bare pussy looked back
at me. The cock instantly became aroused and strained against my new
pants. I quickly softened it again but Annie had seen what happened.
She leaned over the counter and whispered, “Was that your cock, or

I admitted that it was. She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the
changing booths. She’d found my clothes and claimed I should try them
on again. I protested until Annie followed me into the changing booth
and closed the door.

“Let me see it,” she commanded.

Her eyes were no higher than my chest. I dropped my pants and let her
see the cock. She seemed in total awe, so I waved the cock around and
it and bent it into a question mark. Annie seemed to be in heaven.

“Can I touch it?” she asked.

This seemed a small thing, if it made her happy. I told her to go
ahead and willed the cock into erection as she made contact. Annie
ran her hands all over the giant shaft and then proceeded to kiss the
head. Everything else made her so happy that I figured she’d like me
to cum too. I waited for her to bend close and then let her have it
in the face. The familiar rush of pleasure passed over me.

The cum that splashed into Annie’s face immediately caused her to buck
her hips and groan in ecstasy. A moment later she began furiously
wiping the sticky cream off her face and into her mouth. She braced
herself against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. “More,
more, give me more,” she begged looking up at me and holding her tiny
mouth open as wide as it would go. I began shooting a continuous
stream of cum at her mouth. I was feeling continuous orgasms as the
sticky mess piled up on her face and oozed down onto her chest. Her
white blouse and pink dress were being ruined, but she didn’t seem to
care. After a while, she seemed ready to pass out and I stopped. She
was trying to scoop more cum into her mouth but she didn’t seem able
to swallow. I suppose she was full. I wiped the cock head on the
side of her dress, put on my shirt and pants, and returned to the
cashier station with all my items. Stanley was there.

“I still need these rung up,” I insisted.

“What happened to Annie?” he asked.

“She’s in some kind of a mess,” I replied.

After paying for the clothes, I headed out to my car and noticed again
how thirsty I was. There was a convenience store right on the corner,
so I bought a Triple Huge Tank of pop. I downed 64 oz. in about a
minute and still felt dry, so I went back in and bought another.
After the third one, I just bought a Double Huge. All this cumming
seemed to dehydrate me!


By then it was two o’clock and I decided to call Sandra. She wasn’t
happy to hear from me, but I told her I’d left some tools at her
apartment and needed to pick them up. When I arrived, it was obvious
she hadn’t freshened up or dressed for me in any way.

“Just get your stuff and leave. I told you, it’s over for us,” she

“Gosh, you look great. Can’t we try again?” I asked, raising the cock
against the inside of my pants.

Sandra stared at my enormous bulge. “What have you got in those
pants?” she demanded.

The parachute pants had an elastic waistband, so I slithered the cock
up my stomach and out of the top. Sandra was speechless as I used the
cock to pull down one side of my pants, then the other. Finally, I
kicked off my pants, pointed the cock straight at her pussy, and
erected. Her eyes widened even further as she watched the huge organ
swell up with blood.

“Dave, what happened to you?” she asked.

“I’ve improved my love-making, Sandra. Want a sample?” I asked.

“I could never take that thing. You’re too big for me now, Dave.
It’s still over between us,” she said.

Just as she opened her mouth to say “us” I hit it with a cum blob.
Sandra instantly shook her body and screamed with pleasure. “That’s
so delicious I can’t describe it. Dave, don’t ever leave me. Stand
still while I stroke that for you,” Sandra pleaded.

Sandra knelt in front of me and put her mouth to the cock head. I’d
waited months for that moment, and made her wait a few seconds just to
savor my victory. Finally, I began shooting cum into her mouth as I’d
done for Annie. Sandra was able to keep swallowing longer but soon,
she too was full. Her face, shoulders, chest, and legs were covered
with gobs of sticky fluid, and there was more on the floor. Sandra
furiously pulled off the rest of her clothes and began smearing cum on
her pussy. This caused her to climax even more. Finally, she fell
asleep in the huge puddle of cum. I wiped the cock on her blouse, put
my pants back on, and looked for something to drink. I found three
beers, four liters of Coke, a gallon of milk, and a half pint of
whipping cream. That, plus a minute with the kitchen spray hose, got
me feeling right.

Monkey See

Oakland was playing the Yankees again so I watched TV until Sandra
awoke. She was covered with dried cum all but didn’t bother to clean
it up. “What happened to you? You were never like this!” she

“I took lessons,” I replied.

“No way! What really happened?” she demanded.

“Well, would you believe I was taken by space aliens, examined, and
offered three wishes?” I asked. “They have purple eyes and thumbs on
both sides of their hands.”

“That doesn’t seem too likely, Dave. Where did this supposedly
happen?” she asked.

I told her it was the Shanghai Bar and she insisted we go there and
have a drink. At my suggestion, she took a shower and put on some
fresh clothes. With a clean dress and high heels, she looked as good
as ever.

After two rounds at the Shanghai, Sandra disappeared into the women’s
room for forty-five minutes. Oakland was losing again and I had two
more beers while waiting for her to return. When she did, Sandra told
me, “I believe every word you say, Dave. Let’s go back to my

When we arrived, she immediately ripped open her dress and looked at
her tits in the mirror. Slowly, they began to move around! She
pointed them up, down, and all different directions. Also, she was
able to swell them up and flatten them out at will.

“Lisa, did you meet the alien guy in the washroom?” I asked.

“No, I met his female partner, of course. They’re an advanced race,
Dave, not a bunch of peepers. I wished for the ability to reshape my
tits, for comfort in wearing high heels, and for a pussy that would
hold the biggest cock in the world. I sure can move my tits around.”

I peered close to examine her tits and something squirted me in the
eye. “Cool! Watch this,” said Sandra, squirting milk across the
room. By moving her tits around, she was able to aim each stream
separately. She was getting about twenty feet of distance.

“So much for wish one. Are you comfortable in those high heels?” I

“Yes, in fact, I forgot I had them on. This is great,” Sandra said,
running a lap around the couch. “I want to try a taller pair,
though.” Sandra skipped to the bedroom and returned with a pair of
four inch spike heels. They had ankle straps, so she sat on the couch
to put them on.

“Sandra, your feet look strange,” I noted when she removed the first
pair of shoes. Lisa looked at her feet and flexed them. “You’re
right, Dave. I can’t straighten my toes or flatten my feet. How

Sandra stood up without her shoes and found herself on tiptoes. “This
is weird! My heels won’t reach the floor,” she said, catching herself
against the wall. “It feels perfectly OK but balancing is a problem.
I guess I’ll have to wear high heels all the time now,” she said,
strapping on the four inch pair. “Ah, that feels great: better than
running shoes used to feel,” she said.

“What about the third wish?” I asked.

Lisa pulled her dress completely off and discovered a gigantic bush of
pubic hair. She took a scissors from her desk drawer, stood over the
wastebasket, and began clipping. Five minutes later a gigantic pussy
was revealed. The bottom was in its normal location but the top began
just below her navel. Sandra concentrated and the lips began to move.
Soon, her entire stomach area was pulsating and juice began slopping
onto the floor.

“This is incredible, Dave. I’m consciously arousing myself as easily
as moving my arm. I can start and stop the flow of juice at will.”
On impulse, Sandra touched a vase to her pussy lips and sucked it in.
There was a gurgling sound as Sandra’s stomach twisted and turned.
Finally, Sandra ejected the vase upside down. She had rotated it
inside her pussy!

“Sandra, are you ready for me?” I asked.

“Yes Dave, cum here,” she said.

Thanks to the high heels, Sandra’s huge pussy and my enormous cock
were exactly the same level. I wiggled the cock furiously against her
massive clitoris and a puddle of pussy juice fell around our feet.
Hugging Sandra with both hands, I maneuvered the colossal cock head
past her immense outer lips. I erected the cock and inserted its
entire length. Sandra’s belly was filled all the way up to her tits.
She began massaging the cock’s full length with the cavernous walls of
her vagina. Her breasts pounded against my chest like fists. I
twisted the massive cock in every direction, vigorously massaging
Sandra’s interior pussy walls. She sprayed milk in my face with one
tit and washed my belly with the other. When I decided to cum, Sandra
felt it immediately and reciprocated. The flow of cum and pussy juice
turned to a jet spray and splashed off the floor and around the room.
Finally, we passed out in exhaustion.

When I woke, Sandra was at the sink, sucking on the spray hose. I
found a water pitcher in the cupboard and drank three gallons before
Sandra passed me the hose.

“Dave, that was great. No ordinary man could ever satisfy me now, not
the way you just did,” Sandra said.

“Does that mean we’re back together again?” I asked.

“Unfortunately, no, Dave. You see, the female alien told me that
almost every Earthman they examine asks for the biggest cock in the
world. The aliens increase the size by two percent each time. There
are now five guys out there with cocks bigger than yours. You just
don’t satisfy me any more, Dave. Sorry!”

Well, that’s how I ended up depressed about my puny eighteen inch
cock. I called a cab and asked Angel to drop me off for a new pair of
pants. Annie was glad to take my measurements.

by Jim in Phoenix, AZ